The improved yet irretrievable day to day...

• My father, sister and I make fun of every person we come across in public. I used to think that no one was as judgmental as I was but then I remember it is in my heritage. 
• The smell of fall coming stimulates a rejuvenating sense of self that can be contributed to the feeling one got in elementary school. It is the smell of new pencils, old trees, and half frozen playground dirt. It reminds you of the way Halloween felt and the excitement that ensued while watching Hocus Pocus while your grandma fitted your costume. My grandma and I used to collect colorful leaves on our walks to and from school with the means of making wreaths. Every fall ended with my mom throwing away garbage bags full of leaves and chestnuts. I don't think it was the end result that ever motivated us.
• The overwhelming guilt of smoking comes no where close to the satisfying morning and/or drunk cigarette(s). Something about the way it makes me feel like a classic 1940's Betty Page type of woman when in reality I probably resemble a more realistic character like Amber's mom from Drop Dead Gorgeous, sitting in a trailer park drinking beer wearing cut offs and swearing at the top of my lungs; except I'm not in a trailer park, I'm at the Sunset. Regardless, none of these things seem to be stopping me. 
• I think I smell really bad. Seriously. Every time I start working out at the gym, the people next to me leave after a literal two minutes of me arriving.I wear deodorant, I shower. I'm not sure smelling bad constitutes these people's actions. If I wore 80's parachute pants and hacked up old people phlegm, then maybe.
• My cat is a serious asshole. The excuse of her being a kitten in starting to run thin. I might just have to come to the conclusion that I am a bad mother and I raised an inconsiderate asshole of a child who drinks your water and eats your socks. 
• The man situation in my life is...well let's face, nonexistent. Not counting the over 40-year-old men who just adore me...which I don't. On the plus side, they're rich, successful, and established. On the down side they could be my dads. Like if I was adopted things could get creepy fast. As far as men my own age, give or take some years, the ex is being douche of the year by only talking to me when he is drunk. Honestly I wish he would just find someone new to disappoint. And the other man that I would consider banging again is playing hard care games. I'm not a game player, I was never good at sports. 
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